Kwasi Sakabo, the no nonsense tell-it-like-it-is character is back with vengeance. We refresh
your memories with some of his previous escapades. Here, he had just been advised
by a local Pastor to seek the ways of the Lord. Read on.
On hindsight, I heeded the Pastor’s advice and went back to Church the following Sunday. But I had other motives. I had seen plenty beautiful chicks the last time around and decided that would be an excellent breeding ground. “Where there are women, there is Kwasi Sakabo,” I reflected. I went and sat quietly in  back pew so I could survey from behind.
On this day, Rev. John, the Senior Pastor was the preacher. His mouth fell when we made eye contact. Apparently, Yaw Akote,
aka Rev. Joshua had told them about me. “The devil is back again” I sensed he would ponder.
“Let’s rise to sing praises to God,” he pronounced. “A crane would have to get me up, for no one commands Kwasi Sakabo to stand up”, I decided. And that was the last thing I remembered till I was startled by a tap on my shoulder. “Kwasi”, he gently called, making sure to not mention my last name, “are you okay?” That was Rev. John. I took a quick look and found the pews empty. “I am very okay, but where is everybody?” I asked. I had to short-circuit the sermon because your snore became a nuisance and unbearable, he said with a tone of sadness. “Why do you sleep in Church?” he wanted to know. “I simply couldn’t stand on my feet to holler out long songs on empty stomach, so I opted to sit and pray.” The explanation didn’t sit well with the Reverend so he probed further, “What about the heavy snoring, Kwasi Sakabo?”
He is being brave now, I concluded. “Oh, blame it on yesterday’s” I told him matter-of-fact. “Yesterday’s what?” he sounded agitated. A cough interrupted my reply, and sent Rev. John back-paddling. He stumbled and tumbled over the adjacent pew with his head tilted down and his behind facing upwards. Gleefully, I went to his rescue. I silently enjoyed the man’s predicament.
It was my turn to ask him whether he was okay. “Your alcoholic breath forced me to back away, and that’s when I toppled over, he said, straightening his collar and shirt. “Do you consider inhaling alcoholic breath, secondary drinking? I put it to him. He didn’t answer and so I continued “He said we should worship Him in spirit and that’s exactly what I do on Saturday evenings” I told him.
Reverend John looked at me for a long time and said “Kwasi Sakabo, you need salvation, you really do, big time.” “Don’t worry about me because I am already saved.” “By whom” he snapped. “By whoever saved your Reverend Joshua, aka Yaw Akote mankani fool” I retorted.
I quickly continued “Plus the Big Book says that when even one soul is saved, the whole family is saved. It’s in there” as I pointed to a Bible. A pain of regret registered in Rev. John’s face. “But Kwasi Sakabo, a crab does not beget a bird, and I gather not one of your kin and kith is saved.” Hei Osofo, thou shall not judge, it’s in there as well,” I shouted as I again pointed to the Bible. I’m not trying to be judgmental, but you need to be saved sooner, because He will come like a thief. “Who’ll come like a thief?” I wanted to know. But Kwasi, I thought you knew the Bible at your finger tips, Rev. John sarcastically said. “He” the Pastor emphasized, “is the
Almighty”, and I repeat “will come like a thief.” Well Pastor, then “He”, I emphasized, “is not like a Kumasi thief.” What do you mean, Sakabo?
“A Kumasi thief would inform you of his coming, and sure enough he would come on the given day and time. I, Kwasi Sakabo, of the sacred village of Addo Nkwanta do not like surprises, that’s the reason I prefer He comes like a Kumasi burglar. Pastor John decided enough was enough. He grabbed my arms and yanked me off the pew. I didn’t think a Pastor could be so rough, but rough
he was! He firmly gripped my upper body and balanced me on his side.With my legs suspended in air, he ordered urgently, “let’s go, this is a holy sanctuary and I cannot have you blaspheme here,” he charged. “Sofo, is that also in the Big Book,” I protested as he threw me out of the door.

Posted by on Sep 22 2014. Filed under Artcultainment. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry

Leave a Reply